Not sure if anyone still reads this after my last post but I don't care anymore.
I'm going to reactivate this blog as a way to express my feelings and get some things off my chest that I need to let go.
It's been fifteen days since I left his house.
We haven't spoken since.
I sent him a text when I arrived the day of my move back saying that I was "home safe" before blocking him on every possible way of contact except email, such as on my cellphone, Facebook, Yahoo Instant Messenger, etc.
I'm angry.
I'm grateful too.
But I'm angry.
I'm grateful of the financial commitment he had to bettering my life. It was several thousands of dollars just shy of three months. I can't thank him enough for doing this for me.
But on the other hand, I'm angry.
When he told me it was over, I told him I wanted to go home as soon as possible. I told him I'd need "X" amount of dollars to get home and he told me he didn't have his personal account. So I had to wait until Thursday, at the earliest, before I'd be able to leave after he dumped me on Monday night. He was transferring funds from another bank and that was going to take a couple of days to post. Thursday morning arrives, the transfer hadn't posted, and he was going to pull "X" amount of dollars out of his personal account so I could get home.
He let me sit and stew for three days because he said he didn't have the money to get me home. I was blindsided and devastated for three days, sitting in the apartment, bagging what clothes I had left as we donated a royal shit ton of stuff to Goodwill because we had a small apartment, didn't do anything but clean up after myself around the apartment, didn't do his laundry or dishes, didn't go to the gym, just sat there for those days to do nothing but plan an unexpected trip home.
I'm not playing the role of the victim. I'm just shocked how it all ended.
I mean at the end of December he gave me a big vase of roses and told me he loved me?
Things weren't what we talked about they would be, and I was okay with that, and I told him that several times. But what we had wasn't what it appeared to be? He told me he loved me often.
And he just gave up and said "its not you, its me"? Really?
Our Sundays, his hospitalization, the blizzard coming home, everything we had built in such a short time?
This is a guy that dated the wrong guy for four years just to be with someone and I was cut loose just that quick and you're not giving me the real reason why?
C'mon.
I'm going to provide updates with my life since. There's been a trip to Florida and a lot of really good things and some not so good things.
But I'm going to keep this blog going.
I need to move on from this...
