Master and i had a great conversation last night while W/we were laying in bed. Master expressed a concern that W/we may not be where W/we want to be at this point in O/our relationship. i think Master may have been surprised to learn that i am quite happy with where W/we are.
W/we talked about varying degrees of control prior to my relocation here and W/we both had interest in exploring the hardercore aspects of M/s. Over the past thirty days, W/we've found a niche that works for U/us, and while W/we aren't having all kinds of kinky sex, i'm very happy with where W/we are right now.
Personally i don't see a reason to change something that is working out so well. But then again, it's not up to me to make that decision for U/us. Master has decision making authority as to how He guides O/our relationship. i couldn't be happier right now.
i'm serving a Man domestically that i am madly in love with and there are aspects of M/s prevalent in O/our daily lives. Master did something for me yesterday that i am so unbelievably grateful for, that words cannot describe, that will strengthen my value to O/our relationship in the long run. He's truly giving me the fresh start that i so badly needed.
Even before the breakdown, my life had spun out of control. i was an alcoholic with two stints of time in Alcoholics Anonymous as well as a regular drug user. Master controls how much alcohol i consume and i haven't been drunk since the Ravens won the Super Bowl back in February. i haven't used any drugs since i've been here though Master every now and then revisits the subject of marijuana use. i wasn't a daily smoker of marijuana and it was a resource i used to relax prior to the breakdown to cope with the stresses of everyday life. Financially speaking, i was in ruins. i was on the verge of bankruptcy and Master has laid a foundation to turn my life around in that regard.
i am very much looking forward O/our New Year's Eve celebration tonight. W/we're going to a gay owned and operated restaurant for sushi before going to the 501, the leather bar here in Indianapolis.
Lastly, i'd like to dedicate this post to a Man that will also hold a very special place in my heart, Daddy Jim Raymond of Washington, D.C. who passed away last night at the age of fifty-six. Daddy Jim was a well respected leatherman all across the United States who took pride in mentoring submissives such as myself. He taught me how to service my Dominants better and taught me the fundamentals of Safe Sane and Consensual. Daddy Jim, You provided me with many memories that will be with me the rest of my natural life. Rest In Peace my friend.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Monday, December 30, 2013
An Update
Wells it's been a few days since my last post and there isn't too much to update.
i completed a project of putting together a dresser from IKEA that took me a while to complete. i have a tendency to procrastinate on tasks Master assigns for me. i'm good on the day to day household chores, but tend to get intimidated by tasks that i've never completed before, such as using tools like a hammer or a screw driver.
W/we've seen a few movies over the past week and i'd highly recommend seeing "Saving Mr. Banks". Excellent film. W/we also went to see "The Wolf of Wall Street" which was an okay movie but it was just too damn long. The first half of the movie was hilarious and the latter half was not funny at all. Three hours and ten minutes on "The Wolf of Wall Street". A little too long for me.
Master brought me home a bouquet of roses and i was shocked. i've never received flowers from anyone that i've dated before. Master really knows how to tug my heart strings.
He's bettering me as His slave and taking care of things for me i would never ask of Him in a million years.
i always knew that the potential for a great life with Him was there and He's performing more actions than words.
W/we've spent more time with slave ai and that friendship seems to be developing well.
i completed a project of putting together a dresser from IKEA that took me a while to complete. i have a tendency to procrastinate on tasks Master assigns for me. i'm good on the day to day household chores, but tend to get intimidated by tasks that i've never completed before, such as using tools like a hammer or a screw driver.
W/we've seen a few movies over the past week and i'd highly recommend seeing "Saving Mr. Banks". Excellent film. W/we also went to see "The Wolf of Wall Street" which was an okay movie but it was just too damn long. The first half of the movie was hilarious and the latter half was not funny at all. Three hours and ten minutes on "The Wolf of Wall Street". A little too long for me.
Master brought me home a bouquet of roses and i was shocked. i've never received flowers from anyone that i've dated before. Master really knows how to tug my heart strings.
He's bettering me as His slave and taking care of things for me i would never ask of Him in a million years.
i always knew that the potential for a great life with Him was there and He's performing more actions than words.
W/we've spent more time with slave ai and that friendship seems to be developing well.
Friday, December 27, 2013
Thank You Master
Christmas with Master was very special for me. He gave me a few special gifts such as my own dog bowl for consumption of my meals, an array of panties for me to wear, and a gift certificate for the cigar bar W/we frequent.
Master touched me very deeply with this card. i was fighting back tears of happiness when i read what the card said. He's said many of these things to me before and reading this card tugged on my emotional heart strings.
In other news, i can be a bit melodramatic at times. i wronged Master twice yesterday and as W/we spoke about it last night, He said something to the affect that i spent too much time thinking about my mistakes and He knew how much i was beating myself up over what i did.
Thank You Master. Thank You for a great Christmas, and thank You for allowing me to serve You and taking a 'chance' on me.
At Your Service Master,
slave chance
Thursday, December 26, 2013
One Step Forward Two Steps Back
i royally fucked up this morning.
i didn't wake up to perform my usual routine to get Master out of the house this morning.
this has happened once before and Master was direct with me about it. i feel horrible right now because He made sure W/we had a great Christmas together and boy did i fuck it up this morning.
i'm very sorry for letting You down Master.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Double Feature
Master and i have been enjoying a great deal of quality time together.
W/we have expressed to each that W/we love each other. This is significant to me because O/our relationship has a romantic dynamic to it and that's not always the case in Master/slave relationships. It's what works for U/us and W/we enjoy it very much.
Last night Master took me to see the new Hobbit movie in 3D.
i'm not a sci-fi guy at all. Not a fan of the genre as a whole. i was actually dreading to see the movie as it was long in duration, two hours and forty minutes.
But once W/we got settled in at the theater, i realized that this was an aspect of my service to Him that i needed to improve on. Prior to going to the movie, i was all in my head about how much i didn't want to go see this film. As W/we settled in at the theater, i realized that going to see this movie wasn't about me and it was about providing service to meet Master's wants and needs. Once i realized this, i actually enjoyed the movie.
Master didn't explain to me anything about the movie or it's characters so it took a good thirty minutes for me to grasp what was taking place as the movie is a sequel.
During the movie, Master and i both were a bit handsy with one another and there were a couple of times that He wanted to play with my cock and balls, and as a good slave would do, i spread my legs for Him so He could do as He pleased.
At the completion of the movie Master told me i received a gold star for being there with Him.
W/we came home and had holiday coffee and ice cream.
When W/we went to bed, i initiated play time.
That's something unique to O/our dynamic. As His slave, i can kiss Him or initiate sex at any time. Just because i initiate sex doesn't mean that He will want to play. Also, when i initiate sex, there is no guarantee that i will be allowed to orgasm.
Master was nice last night in that He used lube to fuck me. W/we cuddled for a bit afterwards before going to bed.
W/we woke up this morning and Master doled out raping number two of the seven that i will receive for beating off seven times while He was out of town a couple of weeks ago.
Something happened during the raping that has never happened to me before. i entered into a new dimension of sorts into my head space. Usually when i'm in subspace, i am extremely verbal and tend to top from the bottom. i usually beg for Him to breed me and can be quite aggressive while pleasing Him at the same time. i also tend to tell Master how much pain i'm in even though He doesn't care in the moment.
The head space that i entered this morning was more of a utopia of sorts. i was in a lot of pain as Master tried a couple of new positions. While in this head space, i was unable to speak. i was moaning and groaning a lot, but i could not put together a coherent sentence if i tried. i was in a relaxed state despite the pain i was receiving and for the first time with Master, i truly felt like just an object, just a hole He was using to pleasure Himself. it was an amazing head rush to experience this and i am grateful for not only the punishment but also the opportunity to take this new path with Him.
W/we have expressed to each that W/we love each other. This is significant to me because O/our relationship has a romantic dynamic to it and that's not always the case in Master/slave relationships. It's what works for U/us and W/we enjoy it very much.
Last night Master took me to see the new Hobbit movie in 3D.
i'm not a sci-fi guy at all. Not a fan of the genre as a whole. i was actually dreading to see the movie as it was long in duration, two hours and forty minutes.
But once W/we got settled in at the theater, i realized that this was an aspect of my service to Him that i needed to improve on. Prior to going to the movie, i was all in my head about how much i didn't want to go see this film. As W/we settled in at the theater, i realized that going to see this movie wasn't about me and it was about providing service to meet Master's wants and needs. Once i realized this, i actually enjoyed the movie.
Master didn't explain to me anything about the movie or it's characters so it took a good thirty minutes for me to grasp what was taking place as the movie is a sequel.
During the movie, Master and i both were a bit handsy with one another and there were a couple of times that He wanted to play with my cock and balls, and as a good slave would do, i spread my legs for Him so He could do as He pleased.
At the completion of the movie Master told me i received a gold star for being there with Him.
W/we came home and had holiday coffee and ice cream.
When W/we went to bed, i initiated play time.
That's something unique to O/our dynamic. As His slave, i can kiss Him or initiate sex at any time. Just because i initiate sex doesn't mean that He will want to play. Also, when i initiate sex, there is no guarantee that i will be allowed to orgasm.
Master was nice last night in that He used lube to fuck me. W/we cuddled for a bit afterwards before going to bed.
W/we woke up this morning and Master doled out raping number two of the seven that i will receive for beating off seven times while He was out of town a couple of weeks ago.
Something happened during the raping that has never happened to me before. i entered into a new dimension of sorts into my head space. Usually when i'm in subspace, i am extremely verbal and tend to top from the bottom. i usually beg for Him to breed me and can be quite aggressive while pleasing Him at the same time. i also tend to tell Master how much pain i'm in even though He doesn't care in the moment.
The head space that i entered this morning was more of a utopia of sorts. i was in a lot of pain as Master tried a couple of new positions. While in this head space, i was unable to speak. i was moaning and groaning a lot, but i could not put together a coherent sentence if i tried. i was in a relaxed state despite the pain i was receiving and for the first time with Master, i truly felt like just an object, just a hole He was using to pleasure Himself. it was an amazing head rush to experience this and i am grateful for not only the punishment but also the opportunity to take this new path with Him.
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